My spent my birthday eve folding laundry and watching Bachelor in Paradise and I spent my birthday at work, stuffing my face with Mexican afterwards. Sounds fun, right?
I have a lot of thought on turning 28. First of all, holy cow. It’s still hard to imagine myself as an “adult” and married. I still find myself feeling needy and wanting my mother to rock me, and hold me, and sing me jingle bells.
Birthdays just don’t feel as magical as they once did. You know, when you woke up as a kid, singing it’s my birthday all day while wearing a princess outfit, blowing out the candles on your ballerina birthday cake.
Life is so weird & strange and this journey of life that I’ve been on to get to this point, right now, has been long and wonderful and terrible.
I remember being a kid, growing up in Princeton, imagining the summer days away with my best friend who lived down the alley. I remember learning we were moving, and how much it affected me emotionally. I remember being the new kid, and how that new kid feeling I felt in 5th grade wouldn’t be the last time I felt it.
I remember freshman year of high school and how I was asked to homecoming while eating a hot dog (true story). I remember finding the true joy of finding friends who have forever shaped me. I remember being accepted to both the universities I applied to.
I remember my first day of college and how I felt like I had the world at my feet & nothing to stop me. I remember my first party. I remember the first time being drunk. I remember finding a place for my faith to grow and I remember the feeling of being bullied as a young 20-something. I vividly remember getting hit by a car, I remember the deep depression I fell into. I remember the failing out of school. I remember the feeling of anxiety, of shame, of fear.
I remember the friend who came to me in my darkest time of need and offered me a place to stay to get away from the toxic in my life. I remember going back to school, graduating and how proud I was of myself.
I remember meeting Joe and how much he made me laugh. I remember when he surprised me with Harvey. I remember the ribs he cooked me the night he asked me to marry him. I remember our wedding day.
You know that question that if you could change the crappy stuff in your past, would you? It’s so tempting to say yes because that stuff was awful. But when I look at where I am now, my answer is no, I wouldn’t change it. All that crappy stuff has made me a stronger person. I never would’ve moved to Southern Illinois one thing in my past changed. Life would be so much different.
I’m still growing, I’m still learning, I’m still trying to be a better person.
I’m thankful for wonderful people in my life who continue to shape me. I’m thankful for my wonderful family and in-laws. I’m thankful for my wonderful husband and our life together.
I don’t know what the 28th year of my life will bring, but I’m excited to find out and see how much I will grow in this next year.